What Others Have to Say
“During our high risk sliding activity, someone I wouldn’t expect said, ‘I think she should have enforced it no matter what…and if he respected her he would have gotten tested. He was being manipulative, he knew what he was doing .’ What a concise response to “if you loved me, you would…” to say, “If you respected me, you wouldn’t.” ! I was so impressed with her! She’s not usually one to advocate for herself, but she’s really coming into her own!”
Facilitator, Thriving Families, MotherWise
“Love Notes provides a venue of hope for our kids’ future. The facilitator gave sound [guidance] on the Traits, Morals, Values and Authentic guidelines to identify whether the relationship was healthy or toxic. She was so encouraging and enthusiastic … in motivating our students to conquer healthy relationships.”
Kimberly Patton, Educator
YouthBuild, Schenectady, NY
“I asked the students if they felt like they actually learned anything from the whole process – A few of them were pretty positive that it really had made a difference for them in how they handle things now. One said that she felt that participating in the group had given her perspective. Now, instead of just “buggin” when she and her girlfriend get into it – she backs off and gives the situation more time. She says she feels like she is more in control, that after allowing for some time and distance she is able to speak more calmly and actually gets her point across.
We have one young man was incredibly insightful during the lessons. He always offered up good objective thoughts as well as his personal opinion on many topics. He was truly able to discern between attraction/love or infatuation/love; but the ones that stand out the most are during the Decide, Don’t Slide (9) and Let’s Talk About Sex (10) lessons. A lot of the other students age-wise are much older than he is, but were acting somewhat immature, or simply not taking it as seriously. He said this lesson really got him thinking about what he’s done, and what he wants a real relationship to look like. When the other students continued with some of the off-color jokes, he firmly stated: (paraphrased) “Fine you go ahead and do all that. It’s your funeral. You’ll either end up killing the relationship or killing yourself with AIDS. All I know is the sex I have is far more meaningful with a partner I love; it’s making, really creating our physical love from the love in our heart, not just having sex.”
From parenting teens in San Marcos, Texas:
“I learned how to work out problems about my child and about myself.”
“I’ve liked it because they talked to us about how to calm down when we have problems and how to go back to having a conversation. They’ve also taught us that physical abuse is not a good relationship. They also showed us the different stages kids go through and how to support them.”
“I liked that they talked about how to have a healthy relationship and how to know when to end or continue the relationship.”
Quotes from parenting teens in Texas taking the Love Notes Class
Increased Knowledge Regarding Healthy Relationships
“A big thing for me was that me and my boyfriend had a lot of problems and this program helped me because [facilitators] showed me I don’t have to live like that. I don’t have to take all of that from him just because I have a baby.”
Improved Communication and Conflict Resolution Skills
“I talk to him, I don’t hit him, I try to sit down and listen. We don’t really argue anymore, but when we do, I just say don’t get mad, stop and let’s talk. And now we just sit and he just calms down and we will take a couple of minutes and we will talk and everything will be okay again.”
Summary
“With this group, it helps us stay in school, helps us open our eyes to healthy relationships. It helps us get what we need to grow in ourselves, and also grow in our families, and grow in our children. And also, like I don’t know, it gives us hope!”
“I would first like to say thank you for allowing me to join your class. I learned a lot during class, it helped me see things I would not have otherwise.
“I was able to ask some questions that would have been awkward to ask my parents. It has helped me realize that even if you’re in a relationship for a long period of time, the use of condoms does not mean you or your loved one is cheating its – just to protect the both of you from unwanted pregnancy and STIs.I love that you can go to class and be yourself; talk about anything.
“This class has helped me learn the warning signs of physical mental and verbal abuse that I had no idea about and that had happened to me. Now I know it was wrong and will not let that happen to me again.When the class ended I didn’t let my learning experience end there. I kept my book and I go over it with my kids. I had no clue of this stuff when I was younger so I am very thankful from the bottom of my heart to been a part of your class and given the tools to be able to learn from this experience and pass it on to my kids. Once again, thank you”
Love Notes Participant
PREP Grant, Adult Preparation Topics
Utah
I frequently use Love Notes curriculum with girls at the Journey Home. Since they are navigating through dating and relationships out of treatment the content is relatable. I have found that it is valuable for the girls in recognizing red flags with potential love interest as well as what a mature relationship should look like.
Kim England M.S., ACMHC
The Journey Home-Program Director
Residential Therapy High School
ChildBuilders recently received a grant to reach Head Start children, teachers, and parents with our programs. Just about the same time we were notified our proposal was funded, a special package arrived at our office. Inside was copy of the new Love Notes curriculum, which we eagerly read from first to last page.
As soon as we read Love Notes, we knew it would be more appropriate for this population. We consulted with our contacts at the Head Start provider organizations, who also reviewed the curriculum and agreed 100%.
We then gave the curriculum to several parents to review for cultural and linguistic fit, and here are some of the responses the parents gave to our questions:
Do you think this program will be helpful for Early Head Start/Head Start parents? Why?
“Yes, because it teaches people what to look for in a relationship and what to expect.”
“This lesson will help us to break some cycles, wrong choices in dating, trouble in serial relationships, baby mama drama. I think it would be helpful for someone in a dangerous relationship.”
Do you think this curriculum is useful for people from your culture?
“I think it would be good for any culture because everyone needs a healthy relationship.”
And best of all: “I think it could be helpful to the world.”
Janet Pozmantier, ChildBuilders, Houston, TX