Program Length: 6 Lessons
Age Group: 10-12 (Grades 5–6)
Author: Alyssa D. McElwain, Ph.D. and Vanessa Finnegan, Ph.D.
Preparing for Healthy Relationships:
Relationship Skills for 5th and 6th Graders
Relationships matter, and developing skills to form healthy connections during the years leading up to adolescence benefits young people. Developed for 10- to 12-year-olds, Emerging Relationships is a research-based curriculum that aligns with national standards for school-based health education for use in both school and community settings. Grounded in the six principles of Positive Youth Development (character, caring, confidence, connection, competence, and contribution), Emerging Relationships equips ‘tweens with skills to form healthy relationships with themselves and their peers.
Journals and other participant materials for Emerging Relationships have been translated into Spanish to help better meet the needs of the young people you serve.
*Note: Training is not required but encouraged to facilitate Emerging Relationships. Both in-person and live virtual trainings are available. Call 800-695-7975 or email relationshipskills@dibbleinstitute.org for more information.
Overview
The program’s six lessons teach youth personal responsibility, emotional competence, healthy development, healthy relationships, avoiding risk-taking, and how to share with others what they have learned.
Engaging Content and Teaching Tools
Designed to appeal to youth growing through their “tween years,” Emerging Relationship’s lessons are developmentally appropriate for an audience of 5th and 6th graders. Each interactive lesson gives participants opportunities to practice the concepts while having fun. Participating youth use a student journal, with each lesson offering prompts that allow participants to reflect on and apply what they learn.
Key Topics Include
- Self-regulation skills to enhance mental well-being
- Goal setting
- Healthy decision-making
- Emotional self-awareness and expression
- How empathy, social skills, and self-awareness can impact relationships
- Self-worth and personal strengths
- Prosocial cognitive skills and behaviors to have positive peer relationships
- How to navigate risky situations with confidence
- How to make safe decisions and saying “no” in various scenarios
- Ways to express opinions, preferences, and values
- How to be an advocate for well-being among peers
Learning Outcomes
- Have Character: practice self-regulation skills & healthy decision-making.
- Be Caring: develop personal competence for positive relationships.
- Feel Confident: build knowledge of development & recognize personal strengths.
- Be Connected: recognize healthy relationship traits and practice social skills.
- Feel Competent: develop boundary-setting skills & efficacy in risk situations.
- Make a Contribution: apply knowledge & skills about relationships to help others.
- Program Overview ……………………………………….iii
- Program Objectives ………………………………………iii
- The Science Supporting the Lessons ………………iv
- Tips for Teachers …………………………………………..v
- About the Authors ………………………………………..ix
- Acknowledgements ………………..…………………….ix
- LESSON 1: I AM INTENTIONAL ………………..1
- Welcome & Program Introduction
- I am Intentional
- What Should Remi Do?
- Classroom Commitment
- Wrap Up
- LESSON 2: I AM CARING ………………………….15
- Welcome & Review
- Overview of Emotions
- Understanding Your Emotions
- How Would I Feel If?
- Understanding Others’ Emotions Through Empathy
- Wrap Up
- LESSON 3: I AM AWESOME …………………….27
- Welcome & Review
- I am Awesome
- Brain Power
- Body Beliefs
- Social Skills
- Wrap Up
- LESSON 4: I AM A FRIEND ……………………….37
- Welcome & Review
- Sunny Relationships
- Stormy Relationships
- “Sunny or Stormy?” Group Activity
- Wrap Up
- LESSON 5: I AM HEALTHY ……………………….53
- Welcome & Review
- Risky Behaviors
- What are Boundaries?
- My Inner Bodyguard
- Boundary Setting Activity
- Accepting Boundaries
- Wrap up
- LESSON 6: I AM A LEADER ……………………….67
- Welcome & Review
- What is Leadership?
- Giving Back
- Wrap Up
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The Emerging Relationships program is rooted in the Positive Youth Development (PYD) framework. This framework is a strengths-based, optimistic view of adolescent development that serves as a foundation for effective youth prevention programs (e.g., 4-H, Teen Outreach Program). Programs using this empowering approach foster adolescents’ potential as key contributors to our society now and in their future.
The learning objectives in the curriculum are associated with helping youth thrive. Specifically, after participating in this program, students will be able to:
- Have Character: Practice self-regulation skills through intentional goal-setting and decision-making.
- Be Caring: Demonstrate emotional competencies such as emotional regulation and empathy that promote healthy relationships and avoid risk-taking.
- Feel Confident: Enhance feelings of self-worth in various domains of development.
- Be Connected: Identify healthy/unhealthy traits in relationships and develop adult— youth mentorship.
- Feel Competent: Develop boundary-setting skills for improved efficacy in avoiding common youth risk-taking behaviors.
- Make a Contribution: Apply knowledge and skills about healthy relationships to advocate for personal and relational well-being among peers.
The Science Supporting The Lessons
Early Adolescent Development
Early adolescence occurs between ages 10–12 when youth transition from childhood to adolescence. Many important changes occur during this period. As youth begin exploring their sense of self, the desire for independence rises. Their ability to control their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors begins to improve, especially with practice. Peer relationships increase in their importance and influence. Youth experience accelerated development changes in their bodies, including sexual maturation and brain development. With so many changes occurring, this stage of life can be both stressful and exciting!
Each lesson in the curriculum is supported by current developmental science. For example:
- Self-regulation—the ability to control one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors—is linked with many positive outcomes in adolescence and adulthood. This curriculum built self-regulation into each lesson by encouraging teacher/facilitator modeling of self-regulation, a “Power Pause” activity to practice emotional regulation, and a focus on goal setting and intentionality. Research shows that self-regulation is a skill that can be improved with practice. Early adolescence is a prime window of opportunity to learn these skills.
- During early adolescence, youth experience significant brain development—specifically, pruning and synaptogenesis. To empower youth, we share knowledge in lesson 3 about their brain development and how they can practice strategies that help them have more helpful thoughts and behaviors.
- In each lesson, students have an opportunity to later connect with a person they look up to or their “Champion.” This Champion Connection is based on research showing that having a trusted adult in their lives makes a big difference for adolescent resiliency.
What do youth need in this stage of development?
According to self-determination theory, individuals have three important psychological needs: competence, autonomy, and relatedness. When these needs are met, young people have greater motivation, productivity, and well-being. By teaching youth competent decision-making, tools for building positive relationships, and individual character building, we aim to strengthen their overall wellness. This program helps them develop confidence and self-efficacy in navigating relationships and develop a sense of autonomy in their decisions and leadership abilities.
Teachers are crucial in promoting skill development in this curriculum!
The Emerging Relationships program relies on a positive classroom climate and teacher-student connections. As the instructor of this program, your interactions with students will model healthy relationship skills and self-regulation.
Good self-regulation involves having control of one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. A benefit of self-regulation is the ability to focus on long-term goals, manage stress and strong emotions, and behave in ways aligned with our intentions. Adults who interact with youth (parents, teachers, coaches, etc.) have an opportunity to model self-regulation and support youth in developing these skills. This is referred to as co-regulation and has recently become an important aspect of healthy relationship education programs for youth.
Alyssa McElwain, Ph.D., CFLE, is an Associate Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences at the University of Wyoming. She teaches upper-division undergraduate courses and supervises student internships. Her passion for relationship education programming blossomed while earning a PhD at Auburn University, where she worked closely with her esteemed co- author Dr. Finnegan. Since then, Dr. McElwain has planned, implemented, and evaluated several school- and community-based relationship skills programs for youth and adults. Throughout her career, she has published and presented research on adolescent development, relationships, and evaluations of youth relationship education programs. Creating this curriculum combines Dr. McElwain’s passion for effective pedagogy and the promotion of thriving among young people, both individually and in their relationships.
Vanessa Finnegan, Ph.D., CFLE, is the Director of Assessment & Strategic Planning for Student Affairs at Auburn University. She leads the planning, implementation, and assessment of strategic initiatives. Additionally, Dr. Finnegan is an adjunct faculty member, teaching graduate- level educational research methods and assessment courses in the Department of Educational Foundations, Leadership, and Technology at Auburn University. With extensive experience in planning, management, and evaluation, she has worked on large-scale, federally-funded research projects focused on healthy relationship education. She has facilitated various relationship education curricula for youth and adults in school and community settings. Moreover, Dr. Finnegan has trained community educators and university students in best practices and facilitation skills, ensuring effective program delivery aligned with funded research objectives. Driven by her passion for education, Dr. Finnegan collaborated with her long-time colleague (and friend!) to develop this curriculum. This endeavor reflects her dedication to a holistic educational approach and the belief that fostering healthy relationships is vital for individual and community health and well-being.
What did students like about the program?
- “I liked how all the lessons had fun activities.” Female, age 12
- “I liked that the lessons taught us that whatever we say or do can really affect people.” Female, age 12
- “The wheel of feelings and to share.” Male, age 11
- “I liked how we got to learn how to respect others and yourself.” Female, age 12
- “It was inspiring.” Female, age 11
- “They helped me become a better human.” Male, age 12
What did your teacher do well?
- “She shared personal stories and admitted to the wrong things she did.” Male, age 11.
- “She listened to what we had to say.” Male, age 11
- “She told me she would be my ‘champion’.” Female, age 12
- “They taught me well with teaching me life lessons.” Female, age 11
- “She told stories that went with the lessons.” Female, age 12